Good Stuff

I really like my 3-year-old. Ted's turning into quite a character and I really like him. He's stubborn as a mule and won't do anything he really doesn't want to. Sometimes his logic doesn't make sense to me, but we've figured how to work with each other in a very satisfactory way.

I've always loved the mulish little cuss, but I'm really developing a fondness for him that is different than the love that I have.

I think what's changed is that he's really coming into his own as a person. Over the last couple of months his physical skills have taken huge strides- he can climb a ladder for example, or walk on a balance beam. At the same time his verbal skills have increased exponentially. He can tell me about things that happen when I'm not around, or add his own details to a story. He will volunteer things about a picture- what the characters are doing or how they are feeling.

He's started treating us a little better as well. He's more inclined to say "please," "thank you" or "you're welcome" and he will put his dishes in the dishwasher, help me dry the dishes, bring me things or throw things away.

He shares his opinions and has them on just about everything- plaid button-down shirts with collars if you please.

With his increase in independence I have some relief. An opinionated child who is unable to express his preferences can be frustrating. "What? What do you want? I'm trying to give you what you want and I just can't figure it out." This is something I have said more than once to my children, whether the recipient has been the wailing infant at 3 AM or the toddler who's thrown himself on the floor because I pulled fresh socks out of his dresser (???)

He doesn't always get what he wants. He asked for peanut butter and jelly today just as I finished cutting up his grilled cheese sandwich. He had the grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. It's easy enough to grant his other requests though- he wants shirts with collars? That's fine with me.

At least I'm not trying to guess about everything any more.

He's still a stubborn little cuss but at least now I know what's causing him grief because he can clearly tell me about it. Neither one of us is as frustrated as we used to be and our relationship is flourishing. One of his current favorite things to do is stand on a chair in the kitchen and watch me cook- I explain every step to him. I LOVE sharing this time with him.


So far this stage is my favorite.

Betsy's Got a Brand New Bag

I've finally given gardening a try.

I've always considered myself to have a black thumb- every time I tried to grow something it quickly failed and died, leaving me sad and guilty-feeling.

This year was different. I have my son's Tot Time teacher to thank for it really. For one of our crafts Miss Susan gave all of the toddlers a small flowerpot, some dirt and marigold seeds. Ted was never much interested in the crafts (New Thing! Must not enjoy New Thing! Not until it is My Idea!) but when we got home he took some real interest in it.

We planted the seeds in the pot he'd affixed his stickers to, watered them and put the pot on the kitchen windowsill. We watered the pot every day and checked it for sprouts. Just about the time I was figuring I must have killed the marigolds without them ever sprouting, little green blades appeared on the surface of the soil. We got excited (me more than Ted I think) and watched them grow. Soon they were about two inches tall. But like all of my prior experiences, the leaves started to look depressed and the plants developed a lean. I started to get sad- I'd been here before more than once and I knew what was coming.

Outside! Maybe I should move them outside and let Mother Nature take over. She's not nearly as homicidal as I when it comes to plants!

So the pot went outside on a wall and the leaves righted themselves and recovered. They were doing just fine until we had a bad storm. The storm knocked the pot off the ledge and the little seedlings lay ruined at the base of the wall, surrounded by dirt and pieces of broken pot.

For the first time ever it looked as if my plants were going to survive and we were done in by outside forces. I was dejected.

But not yet beaten.

Off to the local gardening center we went. "I'm a rookie," I explained to the man in the green apron, "but if this is going to be our project, I think we need a vegetable- something we can actually harvest. I have no idea what I'm doing or where to start, so load up my cart with everything I'll need."

Our tomato plant has been glorious. We'll get nearly 30 tomatoes from it all told. They're not all perfect, but they're pretty darned tasty; the petunias that surround them have bloomed heartily all summer long.

The marigolds that we salvaged from the wreckage are lush and blooming. The cucumber didn't fare as well, but we got 4 cucumbers from it and I think I know where I went wrong with that one. I have harvested each of the basil plants a couple of times and still have much more than I can use. The mint got transplanted next to the house. I went back and got vincas and impatiens and they have carpeted the area where I planted them. I went back again and got lantana and superbells and the butterflies come and visit them daily.

The house that we live in is not ideal for gardening- we have lots of shade, but I have places where I can put pots. I have plans for my garden next year already and I'm excited by the possibilities. I dreamed of radishes last night.

I tend to go all in with a new project and I'm trying to rein in my enthusiasm so that I don't go overboard- I am still a rookie really- just a rookie with a good first season. I don't need a huge grow light or a greenhouse kit or a new house.... yet.

A Suggestion

What's up with "serving suggestions" on containers of food? Have you ever noticed them? I'm always curious who comes up with these things because I don't understand the reason behind them. A can of soup will have a picture of the soup that is inside the can but it's been put in a bowl with a spoon in it. Next to the picture will be the text "serving suggestion."

Can people really not figure out that the soup can be put in a bowl? Does the manufacturer actually need to suggest that a spoon is the appropriate utensil? Because if the consumer really is that stupid then why does the manufacturer think that same consumer can read the words "serving suggestion?"

Frozen dinners are another one- it will show the frozen dinner, cooked and put on a plate. "Serving Suggestion." It's cooked and put on a plate to remind the purchaser that it shouldn't be devoured frozen, box and all, I suppose.

Serving Suggestions- just another one of those things that makes me scratch my head.

I'm a Dork

It's been a busy summer around here.

We just got back from vacation- my second in a month- and I have a lot to write, but the evening is my time for writing. But I can't write anything while I'm watching the Olympics.

I first got into the Olympics in 1980. I was 15 years old and I made an Olympic scrapbook from newspaper clippings and my brother's copy of Sports Illustrated, my parents' copy of Time magazine and anything else I could get my hands on.

Ever since then I have been a total dork about the Olympics. I get teary every time our national anthem is played. Every story of courage and obstacle makes me feel pride even though the stories are not mine and I know none of the athletes. I don't know why I get so choked up about all of it, but I do.

I have new pictures I need to upload and stories to tell. I will be back. Just as soon as the Olympics are over.

A Toy Rant

I'm mad at Curious George. Not the Curious George. A Curious George. Specifically, this Curious George.

Ted recently turned 3 and we had a party for him. My sister was in town and rather than having four different family events to go to, we decided to streamline our week and have one big family party and say it was for Ted's birthday.

One relative called and asked what to get Ted for his birthday. I explained to her that really the party was to get family together, but if she really wanted to get a gift she should go to the grocery store and spring $2 for one of those balls in the big wire basket in the aisle by the cash registers.

Being conscientious, she instead went to Target and carefully selected Tub Time Curious George, spending approximately ten times what a grocery store ball would have cost. I can see why she would have chosen it- everyone loves Curious George, right? And he blows bubbles! What's more fun than bubbles if you're a 3-year old? But the toy is a dud. It is difficult to work and the reason it's marketed as a tub toy is because if you don't hold it exactly upright, it vomits soap from its mouth. Oh, and you're not supposed to get it wet. Really.

Toys should be made better than that.

I have come to believe that toy manufacturers look at the public as a prey species. Just as the guys at the bait shop will tell you what the fish are biting on, I imagine the toy execs sitting around highly-polished long tables, wearing expensive suits, trying to figure out how to get the most money from our wallets. What will lure out our cash?

I believe their tactics fall into one of two categories:
1. They can make good toys
2. They can make crappy toys and slap Curious George or Mickey or Dora or Diego or Spongebob on it and watch it fly off the shelves.

By putting a beloved figure on a crappy toy, they create the lure. The fish are biting. As parents we know that our children will light up when they see their favorite character peeking out from behind the paper. It's Mickey! And he came to my house! To play with me! As harried shoppers we see a familiar face and think "Surely Spongebob wouldn't endorse a crappy toy. I know Spongebob and he wouldn't stand for something like that." Our children see the ads on TV and that toy becomes the one that they really really want. And so out come the credit cards. Out comes the cash.

I am lucky that I have some time to shop. I generally do my pre-shopping from this chair. I read reviews. Hundreds of them. I winnow down my choices. I am glad my children are disinclined to watch much TV- they don't clamor for the crappy toys yet. Over and over I see the same thing- toys that are designed to make you buy more toys- like this one: It has a Mickey Mouse that plugs into four small holes. The car seats one figure and it only works when the figure is plugged in- meaning it won't work if you lose Mickey or don't have another figure from the same series to plug into it. Not only is this difficult to get plugged in right if you're still working on your fine motor skills, but Mickey has a tendency to go on walkabout in my house. Without my intervention this toy rarely works.

Toys that just plain don't work, like George. (It worked exactly once.)

Toys that only work with the cars or figures that come with it- the Mickey car being a prime example. Many of the car ramps also fall into this category. (I am not including train sets or building sets in this category- in those cases consumers know beforehand that they are buying part of a set- it's not a surprise.)

Toys that are not durable. One car ramp that I declined to purchase had reviews that said over and over "It falls apart every time I try to move it."

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I have put nearly-new toys in my recycle bin and I cringe when I do it. The money that was spent on the purchase was spent in good faith. It was spent in the hopes that the toy being purchased would be beloved. Not recycled.

Toy manufacturers ought to be ashamed of themselves for producing crappy toys. The Amazon reviews of the George toy gave it 1 1/2 stars, only because reviewers can't give less than 1 star. Even the good reviews said that the toy didn't work, but their kid liked it anyway because it was Curious George. That's not good enough.

The toy industry ends up being able to take advantage of those people who don't have the time to research their toys and those who don't have the ability to. I have a couple of relatives who wouldn't know how to begin to research a toy.

I don't know how to put an end to it. I can't ask everyone I know to start putting in the kind of time that I do simply because it's important to me. If there are any toy executives out there who happen to stumble across this blog, though, I'm talking to you. And I sure hope you have a conscience.

For award-winning toys, go here or here or do your own search- there are lots of good toys out there- you just have to go looking for them.

Curious Nostalgia

I miss the viruses of my youth. Really.

I finally have my voice back. I got a cold and lost my voice for six days. SIX! Laryngitis and I are old friends. I have occasionally gotten it- maybe once every two years or so- for my entire life. I remember getting it in grade school. My voice would be hoarse and I'd lose my voice for maybe half of the day- the rest of the day it would be patchy. The next day I'd sound like Kim Carnes (Remember "Bette Davis Eyes?") and then I'd be fine. None of this six day BS.

The stomach viruses of my youth were nothing compared to what we have now either. Ted got some infernal virus called "rotavirus" when he was a year old and threw up for 8 days. EIGHT! And that's normal for that virus.

When I was a kid, other kids would get sick and they'd be out of school for a day. Two days in a row meant that either they were REALLY sick (like they had leukemia) or it meant that their mom was a worry wart. Nobody threw up for more than a day.

Some people miss the television shows or the department stores of their youths. Not me. I miss the viruses.

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I could make all kinds of lame excuses for why I've been bad at making it here lately. I haven't posted since March, even though my blog address is in my e-mail signature. You'd think that would make me a more regular poster. Ha! Peer pressure be damned!

I do have folks who nudge me occasionally- you haven't written anything in a while.... Yeah, I know that.

The truth is that I'm busier than I ever thought I'd be as a stay-at-home mom. This evening by the time I got the kids put to bed and the dishwasher started, it was 10 minutes until 9. I had a busier day than most- I went to the zoo with a friend and her 2 kids, came back and made lunch for everyone, put the kids down for naps, ran to Gabriel Brother's to find some cheap t-shirts for Ted for the Summer, came home and played with the kids, made dinner, played with the kids, put them to bed and cleaned the kitchen (sort of.) It only took me about 12 minutes to make dinner however and there were many things that I did not do today- no laundry, no menu planning, no bill paying, no grocery shopping, no school, no library, no crafts, no cleaning other than the kitchen, no errands. It's now 20 past 9 and I'll be going to bed in another half-hour or so. My day is spent.

I still have a hard time putting my finger on it when people ask me how I fill my time though. To the question "What do you do all day?" I tend to answer "Everything" or "Good Lord, what don't I do?" because "Raise children" seems even more vague than those responses.

I don't really know why I don't have more time to write- I suppose it's because I go through phases with everything and right now I'm simply not in a writing phase. I'm in a quilting/knitting/crocheting phase, so I'm more likely to spend my discretionary time doing that instead. But my projects are starting to pile up as well.

My time is slipping by. I don't know where it's going, but I will tell you that I spent a full hour today as both of my kids together climbed on me and I tickled them while they screamed and laughed and begged for more. I was lying on the floor and Henry would tuck himself under my chin and roll over so that his belly was right there, prime for raspberries and Ted would roll over my back laughing and shouting "more!" I consider that to be an hour very well spent.

When I sit down and make a budget, I have carefully taken notes that explain my spending habits. I know how much money a week I spend on coffee or lunch or groceries. I suppose I could make a time budget for myself and try to account for the minutes of my day. It might help explain where my time is going. It might also help me answer the question "What do you do all day?" I suppose I'll get right on that. Ha!

Maybe when people ask me what I do all day I should respond "I play with my children."