Monday, April 30, 2007

Did You Say "Blessed?" or "Pissed?"

I'm a stay-at-home-mom. I don't belong to a playgroup. When I quit work to become a sahm, all of my local friends (except one) were fully employed, mostly professionals. We'd have drinks after work and sometimes that'd evolve into dinner. I went to ballgames and conferences and seminars out of town.

When I quit work I stepped out of that world and my new world was dramatically smaller. It's >< this big now. That fact has had some impact. Every bit of adult interaction is now much more important to my sanity.

So when I go to the grocery store, I choose my line with some care. I have a favorite clerk. Her name is Theresa and I know about her kids and her grand-daughter and she was actually one of the first people I told when I got pregnant with Henry. Unfortunately, Theresa broke her foot and has been off work for a couple of months now. I miss her.

There's only one clerk I actively try to avoid.

I went to the grocery store a couple of weeks ago. I had a lot of items to get and it took some time. I went as I usually do, with the toddler in the cart seat and the 2 month-old in a mei tai, strapped to my chest. He was sleeping peacefully but I knew he'd wake up soon. In addition, we were approaching lunch and nap time for the toddler.

When I got to the check-out there were two lines open. One was clerked by Michelle who I like fine. The other was clerked by The Other Michelle. The first Michelle's line already had three people in it, each with a fair number if items. The second Michelle had no one in her line and the belt was empty. She was talking to her last customers about how they could file a complaint against the corporation that owns the grocery store. The store was re-organizing and these customers had a hard time finding what they needed, so Michelle was encouraging them to complain. This did not surprise me. It may be the only time she's ever been helpful.

I contemplated my options and then I made the wrong decision in an effort to be efficient with my time.

"I just won't ask today." I counselled myself. Michelle always asks how you are, not because she cares, but because she wants to answer the reciprocal question. I feel guilty when I don't ask it, but today I wouldn't ask. I was loading my groceries onto the belt when she said, "How are you today?" Her mouth was turned down and her eyes were full of malice. "Fine." I said, "And you?" dammit dammit dammit. I asked. Even after thinking about it, I asked. "I'm so blessed I can hardly stand it." She said in a monotone, her angry gaze locked with mine. I looked at my one son who was trying to add a magazine to my purchases and my other one, sleeping peacefully against my chest. I choked up a little. "Yeah, I know what you mean." And I felt blessed- I really did.

She glowered at me. Very clearly I could not know what she meant. She said something about Henry sleeping in the car and I said that actually he hated the infant car seat and would probably cry the whole way home. That gave her purchase. She had something to hold onto. Off she went on a tirade about infant car seats. The thrust of her tirade was that she never used them with her kids and they were just fine. I mentioned that people are worse drivers now. (They are too- NHTSA has the stats. The only reason there aren't a lot more fatals every year is because safety equipment has improved dramatically- yeah, like infant car seats. There are a LOT more cars and a lot more multiple car accidents now.) She locked eyes with me. "Oh no they aren't!" She said, shoving my bread into the bag with the canned goods. She stopped ringing up my items for a moment and glared. I don't know why she's so angry about car seats- they seem like a good idea to me.

I only had a couple of items left at this point, so I started digging in my purse for my bank card even though I knew right where it was. She's like that every time I go through her line- angry and looking for someone to vent it on.

At the beginning of the transaction she always makes sure that I know that she's "blessed." In fact, this time she said she was "so blessed she could hardly stand it." I would think that if you knew that you were "blessed," it would put you in a better mood. Maybe she meant "pissed."

The Differences Between the Boys

If you are expecting consistency from this blog, I'll refer you back to its title.

My oldest turns two in three weeks and my youngest is 2 1/2 months old. Everyone told me that the boys would be night and day. So far there are some marked differences and some similarities as well. I figured this might be a good place to chronicle the differences and similarities. This is for my own reference more than anything else- I doubt this entry will have much entertainment value.

So far the big difference is sleep. Ted was going 6 hours between feedings at 3 weeks old. By the time he was 6 weeks old we were contemplating moving him out of our bedroom and by 8 weeks he was in his own room.

Henry's gone 6 hours between feedings exactly once. I'm still nursing him 3 times a night regularly, sometimes more. He's still in our room with no prospect of moving out. (Some of that is my fault though- he's moving into my sewing room, Nate's ready room, and every time I go in there to start getting things organized, I end up sitting down at the sewing machine and making something new. Recently it was 17 fabric balls, each having 36 pieces. I have more fabric on the sewing table now than I did when I went in to get it organized.)

Ted was late with every physical milestone- for this first time mom it was a little unnerving, but I'm over it now. He:
  • rolled over consistently at 9 months
  • crawled at 11 months
  • walked at 19 months
  • started talking, really talking, last week- that will at some point be the subject of a future entry.
  • got his first tooth at 6 mos but started teething at 3 (this was on time)
The lesser milestones I don't remember. I'll check his baby book and see if I have them written down.

Other differences between them: Ted had periods where he'd cry nonstop for no reason I could ascertain. It didn't happen often, but it did happen. It was frustrating because I kept looking for a cause and a cure. Henry's a generally happier baby. Ted was intense- always observing. Henry's a lot more interactive. He smiles and burbles and coos. Ted required more laundry- every time I fed him, he pooped. Henry's gone as long as 8 days between. Ai-yi-yi what a mess that can be. Ted loved being in the car seat- I would put him in it sometimes when he was fussy even if we weren't going anywhere. Henry loathes the car seat. Ted would only sleep in a couple of places, but when he slept, he'd sleep for a long time. Henry can catnap anywhere. He even fell asleep in his grandfather's lap yesterday afternoon.

One main similarity is in build. They are both long in the torso and both have quickly grown out of their clothes. Henry's already pushing the outer limits of clothes that are labeled as being 3-6 mo clothes. Ted did the same thing. Not quite as quickly, but Henry was a half pound bigger than Ted at birth.

I'm looking forward to getting to know this little guy. We're beyond the newborn stage and Henry's personality is coming through. Ted has a lot of my intensity. I wonder who Henry's going to be like.

I'll update this post as necessary when things become apparent.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

It be an effectual

I always check my bulk mail folder in my email. Occasionally I'll have a piece of email in there that I actually want, but it got turfed to my bulk mail by mistake. By-and-large, however, it's usually something titled obscurely, like "It be an effectual" or "Now an merger." The sender is usually improbable, like "Pedro MacDaniel" or "Luigi Yoshiko." It always makes me wonder where they come from. Clearly there are lots of these emails that go out. Does anyone ever open them? If no one ever opens them then I'd expect that they'd stop after a while, and yet they march on. Almost every time I open my email, there are more.

I'm always tempted to actually open one. I have a Mac, so I'm not so concerned about viruses. Having heard the warnings enough times, however, I simply press delete, even though my curiosity makes me wonder what such a missive would contain. I got one titled "He tung my cylindric" What could that possibly be about? Or "Go vaccinate do sagebrush"? Or "I runge in eurasia"? or "Ride this stock rocket cameraman."? I'm genuinely curious.

Some of them at least harbor a clue as to the contents:
"Better taste sperm" was another one- I can kind of guess what that one's going to be about, but I'm not sure if that's an offer or a command. One other one got me thinking: "You ejacculatte within a few minutes of penetration!"

Ejacculatte- is that like a mocha-latte? "I'd like a skinny ejacculatte with extra foam."?

So here's my question: Are they all emails about penis size, or do they ever contain anything else? Maybe one of these days I'll open one. Then maybe I, too, can runge in eurasia.

First Entry

Welcome to my blog. I'm new at this so as of now I have a title and this post. I named my blog "The Random Tangent" because in thought or conversation I tend to go off on seemingly random tangents. It all makes sense to me, but to my long-suffering family and friends, I'm sure it can be both endearing and really annoying. The title is to let them know that I know that I do it. Sorry.Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket