I Know This Much is Also True

Here are some other things I've learned:

• No matter how many recipes tell me that pearl onions' skins "slip right off" after they've been in boiling water for 10 minutes they are not to be believed. They all lie and it will always take like an hour to get the skins off of a bag of pearl onions.
• Frozen pearl onions are a poor substitute for fresh. They taste as though they've been frozen with the skins on.
• Tags inside clothing are made from a material closely related to steel wool. Almost any garment is made more comfortable by the removal of the tags.
• Do not remove the tags of any clothing labeled "Dry Clean Only." This advice is unnecessary if you have a boyfriend or husband who ever does the laundry. He will not read the tags, you may as well remove them.
• Counselling a husband or boyfriend to always read the tags inside any clothing that is shiny or fancy is a waste of time. He will simply stop doing the laundry out of fear. Or at least he will stop doing your laundry. Even socks.
• When you discover something in the back of your fridge and do not remember when you bought it, do not smell it to tell whether it has gone bad. Assume it has and throw it out. Your day will not improve by smelling the mysterious substance.
  
• Homemade beer is seldom as good as the beer you buy at the store. Usually it's worse. By a lot.
• Playing moonlighter frisbee at 3 AM will cause police officers to conduct field sobriety tests.
• Putting a piece of duct tape over the speaker of any toy will reduce its volume by a lot.
• Duct tape in a color that matches the color of a toy is often overlooked by a toddler.
• Duct tape comes in almost every color. If you don't believe me, go to www.tapebrothers.com
• It is possible to capture a flying squirrel in a laundry basket.
• If you spray a raccoon with pepper spray, it will leave your garage.

I know other things too. This is just a sampling.