The Eye of the Hurricane

I recently got one of those e-mails that asks about 20 questions such as "What's your favorite flower" and "When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up." It went around a group of us who all have toddlers the same age. One question had a striking number of the identical answers. The question was "What's your favorite time of day?" The answer: nap time.

I've been thinking about that for a couple of days now- about why nap time is so important for the children and for us too. Nap time has lots of purposes to the stay-at-home-mom.

It is a time to recharge the batteries.
Toddlers are learning so much and growing so quickly that they need a nap. If they don't get one, their behavior gets worse. They cry and hit and yell if they don't get a nap. They are already completely id motivated, but now it's an angry id-motivated being who is volatile and loud. A toddler who's had a nap is still id motivated, but he's not a volcano that is seconds away from spewing molten lava on all of the villagers. A toddler without a nap is like a wild badger.

It is a time to get things done.
Nap time is the only time to mop the floors without having to worry about the toddler getting into the mop water or something else while being kept away from the mop water. Nap time is a time to fold laundry without the toddler taking each item and tossing it out of the basket with a squeal. It is a time to pay the bills without interruption. A time to put away the groceries without "help."

It is a time for assessment.
Sometimes during nap time I feel like a general- I think about my morning battle plan. What worked? What didn't? What tactics am I going to use this afternoon? What do I need to accomplish this afternoon?

It is a time to rest and regroup.
We all have bad days. On occasion I will give the toddler lunch a half-hour early just because it means that I can put him down for his nap early. Some days he is extra clingy, needy, frustrated, angry and bored all at the same time. Some days this mood coincides with the infant going through a growth spurt during which I have to feed him every hour-and-a-half. Nap time is like the eye of the hurricane- that bit of calm during a raging storm when you can look out and see what damage has been done. On days like that when nap time comes, all I have energy for is plopping myself down on the couch and watching completely inane television. (The parents of the girls on MTV's "My Super Sweet 16" ought to be ashamed of themselves.)

It is a time for myself.
I own nap time. It is the one time of the day that no one else needs me. My husband is upstairs sleeping and if the stars have aligned, both boys are sleeping too. It is my time. I can use it how I want to. I can call a friend or write my emails. I can do chores if I want to, but in the end I am accountable to myself and myself only. This is the only time of day I have that is truly mine. The rest of the day is accounted for by one or the other of the children or by my husband.

Your life gets taken over when you decide to stay at home. When you are working you have responsibilities to your boss and the company you work for, but I never felt like my identity was taken over by the job. I feel that way now- that I am less "Betsy" and more "wife and mother." Except during nap time. Nap time is when I get to be just Betsy again.